+me

name.ClOvEr
Gender.~+FeMaLe+~
age.I'M 17!!! So old...(
dob.5 DeC 1990 Sagittarius
school.Pasir ris PrimaryPasir Ris Crest SecTP

likes.
.Spaghetti
.fluffy
.playing computer!
.my lovely tv
.animals

what i want.
.To be rich!
.to be a singer
.have a big house and with pets in it. including my parents.
.my N95 8GB
.Sony cam

what i don't want.
.backstabbers and unfriendly people
.evil people
.people to argue

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My life- Nobody understands even I

I cried softly in bed, hiding from ears beyond the walls. Drowning in sorrow on my soaked pillow as I thought of what people told me and see from me. I know I'm redundant, stupid, useless and a liability. I have feelings, emotions, a heart. Everyday, i have to be optimistic but that is just a facade a put up. Looking into my reflection I see nothing, even in shadows I'm nobody. I now know why I hated looking into mirrors in public since young. I feel inferior. I know I can't be what people wants me to be. I'm far from what they ask for. I'm just someone who hides in the shadow of others, looking for a meaning to live and wondering who is this person. Thoughts of suicidal flashed my mind like a million times but I never had the courage to die. Other than the lack of courage, I felt I had something to do before I die, but what was it?
Someone told me I've changed, different from who I was when I was a child. I did not reply. I thought to myself. How can I still who I was with the everchanging environment, society, education and even hormones in me. I no longer stay at 1+1=2. Things have been much more complicated, thoughts are more structured.
I want to be what others want me to be, but that's just not me. I can only be the shadow, hiding from the light, never coming out. Why do I have to be who I am. I hate myself. How I wish I never had emotions or even, I wish I never existed. Maybe the world would be a better place or at least people around me would be happier.

| a simple day. 3:42 PM
-----------------------------------

+exits